all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
