is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
