Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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