I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
