i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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