My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
