its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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