at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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