I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
...so i touched it.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
