people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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