Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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