Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
