She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Randomize
