I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
