Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
