i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
