these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
