I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
