I can tuck mytits in my pants
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize