im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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