Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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