Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
