I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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