Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
420 ftw
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
YAS. BRING CRAB.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize