so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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