I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
