I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
