you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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