I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
