Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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