She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize