no, he came in my armpit
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
