nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
