Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I want to fling myself into the sun
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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