I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
