Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The air taste purple.
Randomize
