My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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