Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
