dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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