I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
