you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
