Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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