Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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