i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
