this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
