He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
