You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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