I smell stomach acid.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
