Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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