New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
