wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
