just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize