It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize