Whod you bang
im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
