girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
