if i can run in heels then i can drive
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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