i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Do vagina's smell?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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