singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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