Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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