No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
