ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
